It's Funny Really

I've had a rough week. Last seven days, to be precise.


Why? Because I'm horrible at estimating things, am quite bad at boundaries, but always try to keep my word. Can this project be done in two days? Absolutely! How big is it? Humongous. Great. And then I barely go home for a two days... And then I end up exhausted for the following five days. Awesome.

So as I drive home tonight, from yet another stupidly late night of work, I'm feeling really discouraged. The kind of discouraged that quickly spirals downward into, "I'm a failure at life and I'm going to die alone!" Well, that's where my spirals usually end...

I'm listening to Christian radio because I'm not liking my thought pattern at the moment.

In the back of my mind I'm wondering if God even sees me. Has He noticed the hard work I've been putting in? Does He care?

And then it happens.

A moment from the God who knows me so very, very well.

Let me break here for a moment and tell you, in case you don't know me, I have a slightly twisted sense of humor. It's all subjective, really. My favorite show is America's Funniest Home Videos. Now, I'm not mean. I don't like the videos that mess with people's hopes or are just flat out humiliating or when people are seriously injured. But show me a montage of people getting wacked around a piñata, I'll laugh. A lot. That said, continue reading.

As I approached a stoplight, I saw it. A random stranger walking down the sidewalk. And she tripped. She didn't fall, mind you. And I'm pretty sure she didn't trip on anything, at least not that I could see.

So I laughed.

A lot.

And then I cried.

Partly it was the stress of the past seven days and partly it was pretty funny.

And then the song "Show Me Your Glory" by Third Day came on. The first line is "I caught a glimpse of Your splendor / In the corner of my eye / The most beautiful thing I've ever seen" and so on.

In my laughter, I felt a hug from God. So more tears came. But if I tried to stop laughing and just break down in tears, I couldn't. He wouldn't let me. He was laughing with me.

My laughter and tears did not subside until I was half a mile down the road. Even now, thinking back on that moment makes me chuckle. A veritable "LOL", if you will.

My life may not be where I want it to be and I may not be the person I need to be or have healthy boundaries like I should, but it's okay. He gets me.

I'm getting there.

Tomorrow I'll be one step closer to the woman He wants me to become.

(But I'll still laugh when someone trips.)

Oh, and I'm running out of my office doors at 5pm the rest of this week. No matter what.

(To get a better sense of my sense of humor, check out my Pinterest board here. Let me know if you like it.)